Open Letter on the topic of my mothers death and not attending her funeral
My mother, Valerie Jeanette Nolan died on August 22nd after a long illness.
I believe she was buried on August 29th.
This open letter is intended for the two Patriarchs of the family Ron Castle, mums oldest brother, and John Nolan, her husband, my father, and oldest surviving son of the Nolan family. As the Patriarchs it is their obligation to set the moral tone of their extended families.
Sadly, and astonishingly to me, both men have failed themselves and their families badly. I am sure both are old enough and tough enough to face this fact.
The open letter is also intended for all surviving members of the Castle and Nolan families including those who names are changed due to the woman marrying another man. This would include all the other family members who are the children of my aunts Millicent, Fay, Jean, Lynn, Marlene and Bev. All these children have a different last name but they are all family members of the Castle/Nolan extended family born of Nannas Castle and Nolan.
Lastly. This open letter is intended to young men who are considering marriage as well as men who are already married. You men are being lied to by all and sundry as to how “important” it is to be a father and husband. Every day you face a propaganda barrage as to how “good” it is to be a father and husband and why you should do this. And a propaganda barrage it is. It is lies.
If you young men want to see what it is like to be a married man who is then divorced in “no fault” divorce? Just read this letter and read more of my story on the CAF site. You will find that no matter how good a father and husband you are that in divorce you will be hated on and despised BY YOUR OWN FAMILY as much as anyone else.
Your wife will be supported 110% in committing crimes against you should she wish to do so. NO-ONE will speak out in your support. Not your father, not your brothers, not your best man, not your best mates, not your male cousins. NO-ONE.
If you have the temerity to “complain” that your children are kidnapped? You will be hated on.
If you have the temerity to “complain” that your wife is committing the crimes of perjury, kidnapping, extortion, theft and child abuse? You will be hated on.
Fathers are total shit now. They are reduced to walking wallets. They are to be criminally victimised with impunity and hated on should they be “upset” that women are so legally privileged that they can, quite literally, kill men and children in the solid expectation that they will receive no punishment.
And if you do not believe that statement? I suggest you visit www.the-spearhead.com and ask the assembled men there.
As if that is not yet enough? Even when a criminal woman like Jennifer Toal abuses an ELDERLY AND ILL WOMAN like my mother was in February 2007? The patriarchs of the family will ACCEPT such abuse and even allow those who abused their little sister and wife come to the funeral.
Unbelievable? Read on.
In February 2007 my beloved mother was suffering from advancing dementia. I flew to Australia, in part, to spend a month with her as I realised that this would be my last chance to talk to my mother while she still had enough faculty to know who I was and to talk back.
For me it was a very sad experience for I knew I would not speak to my mother again in a similar way. Mum, for her part, was stoic about what was to come for her. She was scared and afraid as was to be expected. However, she took pains to tell me any number of times that “I have had a better life than any girl could possibly have hoped for”.
In these days mum was resigned to her fate and we reminisced about the times I was a child.
In the quiet times we had together in this month I told her many stories of when I was a child and how she had been such a great mother all that time. From the time I crashed my bike riding down Willins Hill far too fast only for her to patch me up. To the time I had chicken pox at 17 and she would sit with me all night and talk to me and read to me to distract me from the itchiness of the chick pox.
From the times I used to sleep on the front door mat as a toddler waiting for the baker to come so she could give me the crust with heaps of butter on it, which was my favourite piece of the loaf, to the time she stood so proudly to see me graduate from university as the last of the three lads to launch themselves into the world.
One of the funniest conversations we had in that month was about all three boys going to university and getting good jobs. The “dumb one”, which I some times ungraciously called Stephen because his HSC mark was well below Chris and I, even managed to go on to be a doctor!! No one saw that coming. I said to mum that she had every right to be very proud of her effort to instil in her boys the desire to go to university and to get good jobs and contribute to other people as much as we have done.
Mum commented. “Yes, I was very surprised that all three of you went to university and managed to get degrees and such good jobs. I really was.”
I commented: “I don’t understand, how could you be surprised? As a boy I remember you telling me very, very often that I was so smart that one day I would go to university and get a really good job.”
Mum commented: “Oh yes, I remember telling all three of you that too. I just didn’t believe it myself, that’s all.”
We laughed about that comment quite a bit. Mum expressed amazement that I had taken her so seriously as a lad.
And that, in many ways, sums up my mother. Even if she believed that it was simply not possible that her boys might go to university and get good jobs she was going to tell us that they were going to do this thousands and thousands of times in our young lives just in case it might just happen by some miracle. Mum was the ultimate in “positive thinking” to us boys no matter what private doubts or reservations she might have had.
She did a good job. Christopher went on to be one of, if not the, top programmers in his field of speciality. Stephen went on to become a doctor and produce a troupe of 5 grand children. I went on to rise to the top of my profession world wide. I am now in the top 20 or so people in my profession in the world and have a depth and breadth of skills unequalled by any other individual in the world.
From the humble background from which mum and dad came? To have managed to launch three lads into the world and for them to do so well is quite an achievement. Not many parents can point to such achievements of their children. And achievements of the children are always, in part, the product of good parenting.
Since you are on this site? You will also know that I have dedicated myself to re-introducing the rule of law into Australia. As part of this project my colleagues and I will be putting all federal and NSW state politicians on trial. We will also be putting many police officers, lawyers, judges, magistrates and registrars on trial. My work in this area has been so successful that ASIO are now running something like ELEVEN hate sites on the web trying to slander me. So my parents also raised one lad who was willing to stand up and take on the might of the federal guvment and the legal fraternity. Not a bad effort from a council clerk and a housewife.
During this period, February 2007, my former wife, Jennnifer, whom I had known since the age of 12 and with whom I had been together for 23 years, chose to undertake a number of criminal activities as part of extorting money from me in “no fault” divorce.
These crimes included perjury, kidnapping, extortion, theft and child abuse.
Naturally I was speaking with Bill Toal on the issue of the crimes his daughter was committing and telling him that it was unacceptable to me that he allow these crimes to stand and that should he allow said crimes to stand that I would take issue with HIM as well as with his daughter.
On the event of the kidnapping of my former children in February 2007 Jennifer refused to provide a phone number to me such that my mother could speak with her beloved grand children. Jennifer refused to provide that number to me. So I suggested she provide it to Dad on his word that he would not give that number to me if she was that worried about a phone call from me to the children from the other side of the world.
She refused this as well.
So I wrote to Bill Toal and told him that his daughters attempt to abuse my mother by refusing her even phone contact with her grand children in her demented state and at the end of her days was one of the most despicable acts I had ever heard of. I told him that I expected him to give that number to my father on my word that I did not want it.
Bill Toal refused to give my father that number.
I had to sit and watch my mother cry as she BEGGED ME to get that number for her so she could speak to her grand children.
So. Given that BILL TOAL IS SUCH A DISGUSTING MAN (02 69 25 40 41) I wrote a letter to the International Womens Club of Dublin. This was a club of which Jennifer was a member.
I was SCATHING in my criticism of these women that they would allow one of their own to withhold contact between a 16 year old grand daughter and the elderly and ill grand mother merely for the purpose of extorting money from the soon to be ex-husband.
This, apparently, did the trick. However, it should NEVER HAVE BEEN CALLED FOR.
There was NO EXCUSE for Bill and Irene Toal to partake in the abuse of my mother. A woman who had raised THEIR GRANDCHILDREN Kristen and Jarrod as one of her own. A woman who had taken THEIR daughter into her home as one of her own.
MY DISGUST AT BILL AND IRENE TOAL FOR WILLINGLY PARTICIPATING IN THE ABUSE OF MY ELDERLY AND ILL MOTHER KNOWS NO BOUNDS.
Any right thinking person is well advised to be as disgusted at the disgraceful behaviour of Bill and Irene Toal as I am.
So. What has this got to do with my mothers funeral?
All during my divorce Bill and Irene Toal supported Jennifer financially and emotionally despite the fact that they BOTH knew FULL WELL that Jennifer was committing a series of crimes in order to extort money from me. At the advent of the criminal act of stealing my house and passing 95% of the proceeds to Jennifer they BOTH supported this crime. This makes Bill and Irene Toal criminals who are accessories before, during and after the fact to perjury, kidnapping, extortion, theft and child abuse. That goes well with their non-criminal abuse of my mother.
Bill and Irene Toal are going to stand trial for their crimes and they are going to be judged by a jury of their peers for their crimes.
So. Imagine my SHOCK when my father tells me that he has allowed the CRIMINAL Irene Toal to tend to my ill mother! I found this out only in about May 2011.
I immediately told my father that this was TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE TO ME.
It was TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE TO ME that a woman who is an unrepentant criminal who has deliberately and with malice of forethought abused my mother is allowed to tend to my demented and dying mother. Let me repeat that.
TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE TO ME.
I told my father, immediately, that if he did not cease this at once? If he did not issue me a letter in his own hand writing to be published to my web site as to the criminality of Bill and Irene Toal before the event of my mothers death? Then I would not dis-honour her by coming to the funeral to bury her with criminals and abusers present. I simply would not do that.
It was up to Dad whether he chose to continue to allow a KNOWN CRIMINAL and the KNOWN ABUSER OF HIS WIFE to tend to her and whether to allow such a disgusting woman to be present at the funeral of his wife.
I am by no means certain who was at my mothers funeral. Apparently, in my family, the son of the mother does not have a right to the answer as to who was at his mothers funeral. I have asked Christopher and Wayne Gardner for this information and it has not been forthcoming. Another amazing action that young men should take note of. Your family will hate on you so much they won’t even tell you something as simple as who was at your mothers funeral. Good luck getting “support ”from a family like that.
@Ronald Castle. On the assumption that you were at the funeral of your little sister and the criminals Bill Toal and Irene Toal were there too.
Why is it that you would allow the people who abused your little sister in her final days of lucidity to be present at her funeral?
Why would you allow KNOWN CRIMINALS and KNOWN CHILD ABUSERS and the KNOWN ABUSERS OF YOUR LITTLE SISTER darken the halls of your sisters funeral?
Why would you allow such dis-respect and dis-honour to be dealt to your little sister on the solemn event of her funeral and burial?
Have you no shame?
How DARE you allow this?
Is this what you would want of YOUR wife?
Is this what you would want of YOUR daughters?
Really. Words fail me Ronald as to why you would allow this. You are the Patriarch of your family. You are old enough and wise enough to know that criminals are not to be welcomed for if you do you invite more crimes.
@John Thomas Nolan.
How DARE you allow criminals and abusers to stand in the church and stand at the burial of my mother? Really.
HOW DARE YOU?
With one act you have undone a lifetime of honour and respect that you had earned from your son.
With ONE ACT you have damaged your reputation and credibility beyond any means of repair.
You only get to bury your wife once. You only get to bury the mother of your children once.
You don’t get to say “Oops….lets do that properly this time.”
You allowed these criminals and abusers to be at your wife’s funeral for what reason? So that you could “keep the peace”?
With who? ABUSERS AND CRIMINALS?
Your keeping the peace with your “friends” the criminals and abusers known as the Toal family has cost you one of your sons.
I hope you think the price was worth it.
Oh. That’s right. I forgot. How stupid of me.
Sons are just men. Total human shit. Scum. To be criminally victimised and if they “whine” about being criminally victimised they are to be told they are whingers and whiners.
They are supposed to protect their children with their very lives but if the children are being abused by their mother they are supposed to not only accept it they are supposed to support it and pay the cost of the child abuse to boot.
That you have NOT denounced Jennifer as a child abuser of YOUR GRAND CHILDREN is a total disgrace.
That you have NOT denounced Bill and Irene as the criminals and abusers they are is a total disgrace.
And, here, publicly, I am giving my word that if I do not have a letter from you in your hand writing denouncing these criminals, these child abusers of your grand children, these abusers of your elderly and ill wife, before the time of your death?
I won’t be coming to your funeral either.
You are the patriarch of your family.
Start acting like it.
What would YOUR mother say? Would she be proud of you that you buried your wife among criminals? I think not. I knew your mother well. I spoke at her funeral, remember?
She was one who spoke the truth and who disciplined the girls just like she did the boys. She did not tolerate poor behaviour in ANY of her grand children.
Take a leaf out of your mothers book and tell the truth and stand as the patriarch of your family defending those members of your family who are victims of abuse and crimes by speaking out and denouncing those who are criminals and abusers.
Or not. As you wish.
But should you choose “or not”? You, and no-one from the Nolan family can have any complaint when crimes are committed against them.
Why? Because the moral vacuum from the leadership of the patriarch says that the family is to stay silent in the case of crimes against one of it’s members.
What sort of family is THAT to be in? Certainly not one I would choose to be in.
@Young Men and those who are deluded about the importance of family and deluded as to the idea that your family will support you in “no fault” divorce.
Let my case be a lesson to you. And there are MILLIONS more lessons from you to learn from. Just go to www.the-spearhead.com and ask other men about this.
In my case my former wife, Jennifer, committed the crimes of perjury, kidnapping, extortion, theft and child abuse. To date? The following people have failed to speak publicly and call her the criminal that she is.
My father. My two brothers. My two former sons. My best man. My best mate from school days. ALL my male cousins. ALL my former circle of male friends.
Of course, no WOMAN has spoken out either but that is to be expected with women. When was the last time you saw a woman criticise a woman? When a woman murders her children other women say “She is a good mother, she just has a bad day.”
But the fact that NO MAN has spoken out about these clear crimes, indeed, even my own father has encouraged me to stay silent about these crimes, is a DISGUSTING INDICTMENT on my family specifically and men in general. If there is ONE THING that a family are well advised to do it is to defend one of their members against CRIMINAL ACTS.
The idea that EVEN A MANS IMMEDIATE FAMILY and ALL SO CALLED MALE FRIENDS will stay silent as crimes are committed against him came as something of a shock to me. But it is NORMAL. Go to the spearhead if you do not believe me.
If you, young man, are stupid enough to get married? You are giving carte blanche to your wife to commit crimes against you in divorce and in all likelihood not even your OWN FAMILY will denounce the criminal. Do NOT listen to any lies about how “I would never do that”. Your “cupcake” is staying silent when she knows this goes on. THAT is what you should take note of. Her SILENCE in the fact of the crimes of other women.
And even if the crime is to kidnap your children or take 95% of the proceeds of 25 years of labour?
EVEN THEN YOUR FAMILY WILL STAY SILENT.
As will ALMOST ALL OTHER PEOPLE.
So when these so called “friends” tell you how great it is to be married or tell you how you SHOULD get married? You might want to point them to the spearhead and point them to my story and say:
“Sorry, I have seen how men are treated in “no fault divorce”. I do not want to go there.”
@All other men of Australia?
HOW DARE YOU STAY SILENT AT THE SUICIDE DEATHS OF AN ESTIMATED 4,000 AUSTRALIAN MEN PER YEAR?
HOW DARE YOU STAY SILENT AT THE CRIMINAL ABUSE OF HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF AUSTRALIAN MEN?
What are you? Men or mice?
My take would be mice. That’s what I have seen these last 3.5 years from the 99%+ majority of Australian men.
Not enough guts to call a woman criminal a criminal.
EVERY Australian man knows a man who has been criminally victimised in the family courts. Yet 99%+ of you stay silent for fear of “upsetting a woman”.