And this was my reply.....some bits snipped or altered as marked.
From: Peter Nolan [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: 22 October 2007 15:07
To: 'Jenni Nolan'
Subject: RE: missing talking to me....
“Its seems to me from the last paragraph that you are far sadder about the loss of your money than the loss of your wife, children, family and the possibility of a future together. That's very sad.”
This may be how it seems to you…….
It seems this way because you do not listen to me.
You never did listen to me.
That has only really become clear now….
I guess you took no notice of what I told you the last Friday you were here….and that is just normal with you….
I can tell you something, tell you how I feel, communicate clearly, and you just don’t “get it” … I have been what you would call “emotionally devastated” that I have not been able to be with my children and will likely not see much of them in the future, and you did not “get it”….that you do not “get it” in no way diminishes how upset and how frustrated I have been to be without my children.
The situation in which I find myself is that my wife has alienated me from my children, taken a lot of money that she does not deserve, and made life at home pretty miserable…..these were all choices my wife made over my recommendations to do otherwise.
So, over the last 5 years, during which you were given every opportunity and full responsibility to choose who you were prepared to choose to be and be committed to I was in many ways denied the opportunity of being with the children….and going forward….it is much more likely that they will go with you than with me…..
So…the fact that I am now facing the reality that you have destroyed vast amounts of money by refusing to work and I know that I have to knuckle down and replace that money taken from me without my agreement in no way comments on my concerns as to being with my children…..it is just how it is going to be…and could you imagine that it was ever going to be any other way??
You have been the driving force behind the destruction of our family and you are, with statements like this, trying to push responsibility ‘somewhere else’.
You are never going to grow up and be a responsible adult, and that is one of the main reasons we are now going to get divorced. Because you refused to be a responsible adult. And that’s a real shame.
“I guess there is no point at all except despite everything that's happened I still like the sound of your voice”
These last 12 years, and these last few months I have made every effort to engage you in the possibility of ‘loving, intimate, passionate and inspiring relationship”.
You said ‘No’.
These last few months you have, on many occasions, refused to talk to me when I asked you to. After all I have done for you, you refused to show me the tiniest, tiniest amount of respect that I have earned in spades these last 23 years by even taking my calls….and now you say “Gee, I’d like to hear your voice because it makes me feel good…” … well, the offer was on the table and you turned it down…
Your disrespect of me these last 2 months was nothing short of amazing. That you stole money from our company, that you threatened to have me arrested, that you threatened to have the entire house transferred into you name, that you sought the advice of divorce lawyers in Ireland with an eye to getting even more money than you are legally entitled to under Australian Law.
These are the actions of a disgustingly greedy and selfish person who has no respect and no regard for the man she is dealing with.
And on the topic of respect…. Just because I imagine this is the case…… (PN. remember..I know that Kristen has called me a "bastard" to Jennifer and that she agreed with this by not objecting.)
I would be willing to bet that in her letters/emails/phone calls to you Kristen is highly critical of me….and I would bet that you never once point out to her “Gee, when you father and I refused to provide the money for you, Peter fed you, he clothed you, he gave you shelter, he gave you the opportunity of the education you have, and he was not obliged to do so in any way, shape or form…….so I would ask that you show him the respect that he earned.”
I bet THAT is not how you respond to any negative comment she makes of me, now is it… ??
So, how does Kristen describe me in her emails to you? And what is your response about that?
My bet is that if you look at how you deal with her comments about me you will see your own lack of respect for me showing through…both in her comments in that you allow her to make them an in your comments back……..
That Kristen refused to help the family when we were in our hour of greatest need is a very clear indicator of the lack of respect you have shown me, and the lack of respect that you have passed along to Josephine as well…..the ‘disgusting’ behaviour that she exhibited to me was exactly yours….
She refused to take a call from me when I had deemed that the call was important enough to need to break from work to do it.
I have been rejected by my own wife, alienated from my family at my wife’s great effort, worked my arse of and had that money taken from me by my wife.
Not a good result.
I had faith, hope and love for you, as you asked to be inscribed on our wedding rings….only you didn’t have the same for me….it was all one way traffic…
So, if you want to talk to me…write me an email with the topics you want to discuss, some alternative times, and we can discuss…
With my opinion of women having taken a huge plunge these last few months given your attitude and the attitude of women around you who are supporting you, every one of them as culpable in your lies and deceit as you are, I do not think I would be interested in getting into any such relationship again.
You want to hear my voice? You want to get something from me? Then try giving something in the first place rather than being ‘take’, ‘take’, ‘take’, ‘take’ as you have been these last 15 years.
You ran the demo model for 3 years and then sponged for 20 and will take half of all I have worked for…
You didn’t renovate those houses.
You didn’t work for the last 25 years.
You didn’t travel endlessly.
You didn’t work through the night many, many times in your working life.
You didn’t go and spend 15 months in Saudi Arabia.
You didn’t get driven out of your home by you spouse trying to monopolise the household.
Those are the things YOU did to ME……
So, you said on the phone to me “you are not my friend”…after all I have done for you, you finish with “You are not my friend.”
Well, little miss “Not my friend”… .
To put it as bluntly as possible….
Why the f*** should I talk to you?
Give me some reasons that are not “because it makes ME feel good” because the last 23 years has been all about ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’….
And the only thing that is ever on your mind is what can you get…and in all your sentences you are asking “What is in this for me?”. Your sentences are all about “I want”, “I would like”, “What I would like to see”….and in 12 years you could not once ask the question “What is it I can do for you that would have you be happy, that would have you feel loved and cared for, that would lighten your load?”
You know, I do not recall once in the last 12 years you asking the question “Peter, how can I help you?”
So, why should I talk to you?
You don’t listen to me anyway, and haven’t done these last 20 years….
If you listened to me and acted on my recommendations our family would be together and all would be good with the world….
But no…you couldn’t do that…you had to be miss RADC….you had to prove ‘You are not the boss of me’…and now you have the ultimate ‘you are not the boss of me’ by getting divorced….
You should be really happy!!!
You are in complete control of your life now….no pesky husband to ‘berate’ you into the possibility of relationship…I am sure you are ssssoooooo happy you are in control…..
You have about $A250K + furniture to go forward with….none of it do you deserve, you got it by lying to me, and now you can decide to do whatever it is you decide to do…
You are now COMPLETELY IN CONTROL….
Let’s see how you like it.