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 2/1/2012 10:14 AM
This is a pearler from Dalrock.

40 years of ultimatums

Women have been continuously renegotiating the social contract in their favor for over 40 years.  They have been incredibly successful by making never ending incremental demands.  When you consider the full scope of their success it is truly awesome.

Normally when progressives and cultural marxists make demands for change conservatives point out that by changing the terms of the agreement there will inevitably be unintended consequences.  Demanding that insurance companies cover preexisting conditions means health insurance premiums must increase.  Rent control eventually leads to housing shortages.  Minimum wage laws and union negotiated pay and benefit increases mean employers are less willing to hire local workers.  These changes are to some degree inevitable, and for most people the only question is the actual scope of the unintended consequences and whether they are worth the improvement gained.

However, in the case of the gender war feminists have made an unspoken agreement with traditional conservatives: 

You hold him down while I rob him.

Not only have Social Conservatives agreed, they were so eager to assist that they even volunteered to create an alibi for the crime.  Whenever anything goes wrong with the heist, conservatives loudly blame men.

Feminists sternly tell us that 40 or so years ago women looked to their husbands as the rightful leader of the family.  Men and women both married young, and with generally little previous sexual experience.  Marriage was almost universally seen as a partnership for life.

Now women are actually proud to call themselves sassy.  Lack of self control is now a virtue for women, and is openly celebrated in very young girls.  This new high attitude woman however doesn’t come with the increased ability which would back it up.  Women are being told they should delay marriage until they are at least 30, and many are following that advice.  Yet after waiting so long to marry, women are now as likely as not to decide that they either don’t want to be married or have married the wrong man.  Those who do stay married are very likely to feel justified to deny their husband sex and generally usurp his traditional role as head of the household.  In the years prior to marriage women no longer feel that they must abstain from sex.  Social conservatives have signed off on removing slut shaming, with the pretext that women’s preferred form of promiscuity ismore moral than mens and any women who are slutty are merely innocent victims of the men they have sex with.

In fairness to feminists they would argue that this is all a matter of perspective.  To them all of the changes listed above are great achievements.  Sassy brassy career women are far better than submissive wives from the feminist perspective.  Women embracing their sexuality and enjoying it to the fullest on their own terms is something they worked decades to achieve.  Women putting education, career, and personal development* before marriage is a great improvement in their eyes over women marrying while young.  Furthermore, women having the right to divorce at will and have the state force the costs onto men is a monumental achievement.  If we are honest, feminists have a lot to be proud of.  They created a wish list and have achieved nearly everything on it.

But what have men received in return?  Their wives often come with a decade or more of kinky sexual experience with exotic men.  That has to be worth something.  While she is more likely to deny him sex, at least he can take comfort in the knowledge that she isn’t frigid.  Women now make more money than they did in the past;  this has to be a major benefit, right?  Unfortunately the career woman also often comes with student loans to match or exceed her career, which need to paid off whether she continues focusing on her career or not.  She also comes with expensive tastes developed by spending a decade or more with a large amount of disposable income.  Furthermore, women are being told to get a career so they can be comfortable kicking their husband out should they ever feel the need.

Don’t get me wrong.  Women should be free to make all of the changes listed above except for the unfair treatment men receive regarding child support, custody, alimony, divorce theft, presumed guilty rape laws, and out of control domestic violence laws which make it a crime for a man to even be rude or insulting to a woman.

While women have every right to pile on the ultimatums, men must also have the right to say no thank you.  That deal is no longer attractive to me.  After all, an ultimatum meanstake it or leave it.  Yet the men who more and more say leave it are the people in our society we are criticizing the most.  We made the terms of the deal unpalatable, and instead of understanding when they walked away we are furious with them.  Take the simple issue of women postponing marriage while feeling free to be true to themselves with the most alpha men they can land.  In the US the median age of first marriage is 26.5 for women and 28.4 for men.  Since we are in the middle of a large jump in the postponement of marriage these figures likely significantly underestimate the reality we see.  Even taking them at face value, half of men are having to wait until they are 28 or older to marry.  Large numbers of men can’t marry until their mid to late thirties.  At the same time they are surrounded by large numbers of promiscuous attractive women being as true to themselves as they can possibly be.  Men in this position have three options:

  1. Stay celibate by choice.
  2. Stay celibate or close to celibate due to being rejected by hypergamous young women.
  3. Learn how to have sex with the hordes of young women riding the carousel.

This isn’t a question our society has spent much energy wrestling with.  The underlying feeling is;  who cares, so long as they man up and marry these women once they are done riding the carousel.  It turns out however that the men themselves very much do care.  This is an extremely long time we are expecting men to go before marrying.  During this time we have the unspoken expectation that they will work their tails off to be ready to act as a provider while not getting too used to being single.  Each decade we have pushed the envelope a little further, and we expect each new generation of men to simply suck it up a little more and fill in the gaps.  One can argue that they should have beat another man to the punch and married one of the small number of chaste young submissive women who were looking to marry.  But this is just shuffling the deck chairs around.  At the end of the day this will only determine which men marry in their early to mid 20s and which ones are forced to wait it out;  the overall numbers won’t change because the change is being driven by the choices of women, not men.

Social Conservatives and Feminists have been pretty happy with this deal for the last 40 years.  What could possibly go wrong?  Now along come men like Roissy and Roosh who say to young men not only do you not have to spend your youth in grinding celibacy, but you don’t need to sign up to marry a brassy sassy career gal slut who just as likely as not will deny you sex and/or take you to the cleaners while ripping your children away from you.  They will teach young men how to pass the decade or so they would otherwise wait for their wife to tire of slutting around.  Even better, they will teach them how to have all the sex they want with the youngest, prettiest women, all without having to knock themselves out career wise.  Feminists and Traditional Conservatives gave men lemons;  Roissy and Roosh taught them how to make lemonade.

Who reading this doesn’t understand that this was absolutely bound to happen?  Why is anyone surprised at this?  After 40 years of cumulative one sided demands (and concessions), men now see another option.  Feminists and Traditional Conservatives are furious.  How dare they choose something else!  But they are the ones who turned marriage from a lifetime partnership to a way women can defraud men.  They are the ones who told women to slut it up in their 20s and told men to wait for marriage until the women were done.  They were the ones who denigrated the status of husband from leader of the family to cowering scapegoat.  All I can say is they should get used to it.  If it took 40 years of one sided demands to get here, it could easily take as long to move back to equilibrium (assuming it does).

*Banging men in exotic locations.

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